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Easter Message

As we prepare our hearts and minds for Easter weekend.. Watch this powerful and moving short video of the ultimate sacrifice of a Father and a Son. God gave up his most beloved Son, but that Son also chose to give up His own life to save ours… The sacrifice was required of one most dear for the salvation of all…

Most (The Bridge): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHbUgoXz3dk

2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

What does to be a new creation mean?:

  1. We now have a godly perspective. “From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh.” (2 Corinthians 5:14-17). We view others through God’s eyes.
  2. It means we will no longer be held accountable for our past sins or for the sins of others that were committed against us. We are not defined by our past mistakes, our struggles, or our trauma… our story is ultimately God’s story and as a new creation, He offers us the following gifts of mercy and grace…
    – He gives us hope and healing in place of hardships and heartache.
    – He gives us purpose in place of pain.
    – He gives us completeness and wholeness in place of brokenness.
    – He gives us a testimony and transformation in place of trauma.
    – He gives us strength in place of struggles.
    – He gives us new life in place of our past.

Revelation 21:5 “And he who was seated on the throne said, Behold, I am making all things new.” Also, he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” God keeps His promises. In His timing, He will make all things right, all things new.

Praying this Easter that you are filled with His peace that surpasses all understanding. That He heals any areas of your life that need healed and you experience completeness and wholeness. That He continues to refine you and transform you for the purpose he created you for. That He grants you all the desires of your heart!

Easter Blessings,                                                                                                                       Witlee

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Roe V Wade

LIVE EACH DAY WITH PURPOSE PODCAST
EPISODE 16: ROE V WADE with NICK LOEB

 

Nick’s Movie, Roe V. Wade premieres tonight, Fri, Feb 26th at CPAC!
Roe V. Wade, Available On Digital + On Demand April 2nd!!!

 

Nick is a producer, director, and actor with a distinguished career in front of the camera, as well as working in corporate development, motion picture finance, and production. During his career, he has worked with entertainment greats such as Quincy Jones, Barbara Streisand, Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Kathy Bates, Gerard Butler, and Jon Voight, among many others.  His next film is Roe V. Wade, a project that he wrote, directed, produced, and also has one of the leading roles, playing Dr. Bernard Nathanson.  Roe V Wade is releasing in April.

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Fairytales Do Come True

 Amy J. McCart

Christian, wife, mother of 4 kids ages 6, 7, 9, &  11, like most moms, Amy does her best to get her kids to all their sports, theatre, & after-school schedules.  She has had two books published and looks forward to writing many more. In the meantime,  most school days she can be found helping out in her kids classrooms as room mom and helping her husband run several of their business’. Aside from their 2 podcasts, Family on a Mission and Kingdom Success, they have some real estate business’, a network marketing business, an options trading business, & some additional family ventures. Amy loves volunteering her time but also comes alive at any public speaking opportunities that arise. She is passionate about helping this next generation run after Jesus and encouraging them to pursue purity in their dating years. Her perfect day looks like writing Bible studies and books until about 11:00, re-emerging into her home, and speaking at Youth or Woman’s Conferences across the country…. but for now, getting hugs from 6 and 7 year olds at school is a pretty perfect day too! She is in love with her hottie husband of 20 years and also enjoys working out.
You can follow her life on Instagram and Facebook @amyjmccart.

What brought you to write your book, Fairytales Do Come True, When God Writes Your Love Story?
I always knew I was going to write this book and that it would probably be my first book because I lived it out and saw it to its finish. A testimony of how God is so faithful even when you feel like you’re not worthy. It’s a fairy tale story, one of those stories that should be in a movie. I just didn’t know when I was going to write it. So, in 2010 after my first child was born, I just felt it was time and I began the process of writing. I typically wouldn’t consider myself that sort of a writer, I write devotions and things that dive into scripture. So, writing Christian fiction was a little different. But it was awesome and has been neat to see how it’s impacted, people.

What is the process of writing a book and getting a Publisher? How did High Bridge Books get involved? Well, I have a really interesting relationship with the Holy Spirit. When I wake up and have my quiet time, I might journal and read a little bit from what I’m currently reading. I may read through Proverbs, a Bible reading plan, or a specific devotion. But I always take time to stop and listen to the Holy Spirit, allow Him to speak to me, or just be still, and stop asking questions. One morning while I was in my quiet time, I felt the Holy Spirit say, “Alright it’s time to start your book.” I was just starting to get through all my answers of why it wasn’t the right time to start and I’m like well, but I don’t have a publisher or an editor. Who would do the artwork for the cover? I felt like the Holy Spirit came back and said, “You don’t need any of that stuff because you don’t have a book. The first step that I need you to do is write the book.” But I don’t know how to write a book, I’ve never written a book, and I was just giving Him all the reasons why I couldn’t do it yet. So, He gave me a very simple plan and said, “I want you to write for one hour every morning before you have your quiet time, for four mornings a week.” My response was probably getting a little legalistic, but I didn’t want to spend time writing before I had my quiet time and spent time with the Lord. I always want to give my first fruits to the Lord, my first part of the day. He said, “This is me asking you to do this. This is part of your first fruits, you’re giving first to the Lord.” In that season of life, I had just resigned from Corporate America and my first child was nine months old. So, from the time I woke up at 7 am until about 11 am I had that time to write, with a 20 min break around 9 am to feed my son. I’d set a timer and just type. I wouldn’t go through and edit or try to fix anything. I just wanted to get the entire story out on paper because there’s a lot of hard parts to the story. So, that was kind of the process of writing the book.

Now the process of finding a publisher was pretty seamless and easy. My husband has a podcast, called, “Kingdom Success Podcast.” He interviews Christian business people in the marketplace and had interviewed this gentleman, Darren Shearer who is the publisher of High Bridge Books. I was at the point in the phase of my book that I needed a publisher, so I sent him an email and a copy of the manuscript and the rest is history.

How many mornings, weeks did it take you to write the book? It was September 2010 when I felt lead to start writing because the Holy Spirit had given me a deadline. He told me, “I want you to be done writing by December 31st.” Since I had never written a book before, I didn’t know what that would look like. I was about a week late on my deadline, but I finished the first week in January 2011.

How did you get into speaking? We’re business owners so I’ve spoken on the business side of things. More opportunities came about as our business became more successful. Speaking in front of an audience from a couple of hundred people to about 18,000 people. Though I look forward to breaking out into the speaking circuit as an author.

How did you start writing devotions? I’ve always been a writer. After I broke free from Corporate America and embraced my role as a mom and a business owner. I had a lot of time to spend doing what I like to do which is researching and looking up the Greek and Hebrew meaning of words. One morning in 2010, my husband said, “Why don’t you start a blog?” So, I did and to date, have written over 500 posts. Probably half of them having to do with Proverbs 31. While reading through Proverbs a lot of them reference the characteristics of the Proverbs 31 woman. Which is another book I have on my list to write. I’ve already started on it because I knew I could pull content from my blog.

Were you able to use a lot of the content from the book for the study guide?
 The study guide was a whole new entity. One of my best friends, Stephanie Rice has a gift for discernment and knows what content needs to be there. She thought this was a book young girls needed. We wrote the study guide together, going chapter by chapter. I would begin writing and she would go in and read what I had written and add anything or remove parts. We prayerfully did this together. The study guide was my cup of tea. Because digging into the Word is what I love to write about. The study guide was fun to write, but the first section was challenging. If you’ve ever read the book, “Redeeming Love” by Francine Rivers, this book would be today’s version of her book. The first part of “Redeeming Love” is very difficult to read because there are some really hard sections. In the first section of my book, you’re looking at the life of the main character who is living in the world, a non-Christian life doing what college students do. She’s partying and getting herself into some bad situations. The study guide allowed me to delve deeper into scripture. From a Christian perspective, I was able to give warnings that I wasn’t able to do in the book. Whether the main character was flirting and getting into a bad spot. Being forced into things she didn’t want to do that would be considered borderline rape. The study guide allowed me to look at and identify warning signs and red flags for the reader.

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What dating advice would you give to single women? Probably, save it all for marriage, everything. Every piece of purity should be saved for marriage. When you meet your dream man, the last thing you want to be thinking about on your wedding night is someone from a past relationship. You don’t want to have any flashes of being with another guy. Thinking of how he did things differently or did he do things better than your husband is doing them? That is the last thing you want to think about when God brings you the man you’re going to be with forever. You don’t want those intimate details of the past flooding into your new life. And they will unless you just have spiritual amnesia or by God’s grace, he lets you forget everything that you’ve ever been through. That, unfortunately, didn’t happen with me because I remembered a lot of that stuff and I think the enemy wants to tarnish what God meant to be beautiful. He’s going to try to sabotage your thoughts and bring back that past relationship or that boyfriend. Honestly, if you believe that God can bring you this knight in shining armor riding in on a white horse and everything you dreamed. Then he’s worth waiting for. He’s worth you saving foreplay, fondling, and other things that you can get into when you’re in a relationship, just for him. I would just say to every single woman it is worth the wait. I want to emphasize that if you’re engaged it’s not even worth giving some of that away during your engagement. It’s worth saving what God designed for marriage for that wedding night. The more a female gives herself away all of those things just chip away at you and they bring you down. Sure, we can receive healing for all of that, but it just begins to chip away at our hearts. I feel it’s worth saving it all for marriage.

For women struggling with memories of their sexual past. Is there something you’d recommend to help them through that? Well, this might be an interesting perspective, but, if somebody pees in a pool it’s very diluted with water and chlorine. But if it was in a cup you wouldn’t want to drink that because it’s disgusting and not diluted. The same happens with sin in our life. When we put something in our mind it stays there but we can dilute it by putting good in. I would say it’s the same thing with women who had sex before they were married or maybe have been with a lot of people in their life. Let’s stop that behavior, those sexual activities, and those physical relationships. Stop putting the bad in and begin to dilute them with the Word, let’s saturate ourselves with good Christian books. Start with being in the Word and having a regular quiet time every morning where you’re just pouring good in. Some of those images may never completely be gone or they might be. I’ve been married for 20 years now and we say that we’re still on our honeymoon and it just keeps getting better. But I had a lot of experiences from my past. I don’t remember things that I had done, but I think that’s because of just years of diluting it with good. I’ve been pouring in the good, whether it be listening to a good podcast, good audio, reading a good book, being in the Word, or having regular quiet time. I think that married women can overcome that and dilute a lot of that stuff. I also think it might be helpful to be open with your spouse. I had experienced more than my husband had. He’s the knight in shining armor and yet I had a black sheep past. I had some baggage and he had very little. He got saved at nine, spoke at a church when he was ten, and started FCA at his high school. He was the homecoming king, prom king, and Mr. athlete, but he was sold out for Jesus too. He is what gives me hope that you can love Jesus and still be popular and look cool.

Is it possible for someone with a black sheep past to meet an amazing man of God, her knight in shining armor? It’s absolutely possible! That is what this book is about! Maybe we should change the title to, “How the Black Sheep Married the Knight in Shining Armor.” Because it is possible and I’m a true example of it. Your readers will just have to read the book, but my past is pretty checkered. But, when I turned my life over to the Lord and started living for Jesus, when you surrender it all to Him you’ve been forgiven! You’re as white as snow, your sins are as far as the east is from the west. Jesus forgets it all and he went to the cross, shed His blood so I could be forgiven for all the stupid stuff I did in my past. When I ask for that forgiveness He’s already forgiven and forgotten so from then on, it’s just me needing to forgive myself for the things I’ve done. When the enemy brings it up and says, “No, you’re not good enough for him, or you’re not worthy of someone like that, or you don’t deserve him.” You need to take every thought captive under the obedience of Christ Jesus and say, “No! I don’t know who you’re talking to satan or enemy but last time I checked I’d been forgiven of all of that.” Just as it says in scripture, in 2 Corinthians, “I am worthy because the blood of Jesus has redeemed me, and I’m forgiven.” In the book, it mentions an old song called, “What’s Sin” by Morgan Cryar. If you’ve never heard the song, you need to look it up on YouTube and listen to it. The lyrics are very powerful, and it says, “As far as the east is from the west, I’ve said what sin? What sin?” Because God doesn’t see that sin anymore. We just have to get to the point where we don’t see it, that instead, we see ourselves as redeemed from the curse and the past. I do deserve that knight and shining armor.

For any female who has a checkered past, has a black sheep past, she can start new today, and ask for forgiveness. This doesn’t mean she won’t make mistakes still, because we are human. But every day is a new day, you can start new and be forgiven. It’s as simple as asking. I never dreamed that I would be married to the most amazing person on the planet. That when I met him that I could live a life where he is still a knight and shining armor. Not just through the courtship process but that it could be possible to live a happy and fulfilled life and be in love after 20 years of being on a honeymoon. It is possible because with God all things are possible. I’m a living testimony of it for sure. I’m sure thoughts of needing to settle happened back then but when I got sold out to the Lord, I was radically changed and did a 180. This changed the direction of my life and God just started to change me. My dream during that time was to marry a knight riding in on a white horse across the beach, that’s what I had always envisioned. I wanted him to be a Godly man and leader, but I also wanted him to be like a hottie. A big guy with big shoulders, a big back, and looking like a football player with a solid jawbone. I wanted him to look good, be fit, and just be attractive. So, I made a list of everything I wanted in my husband and God brought him to me.

What would you say to women who have baggage full of past regrets? Is there still hope for them to have a holy and amazing marriage in the future, just like women who may have a past of few or no regrets?
I would say absolutely! Again step 1, is going back to forgiving yourself first. After you have forgiven yourself and when the enemy tries to bring it up again. Go back to applying 1 Corinthians 10:5. If it’s the condemnation from your past, say out loud, “I refuse to take on that condemnation. I have been forgiven, my past is wiped clean, and Jesus has forgotten that sin. I am white as snow.” Just as it says in Psalms 103:12, “It’s as far as the east is from the west, so far, has he removed our transgressions from us.” That’s what this book talks about, someone with past regrets being able to receive their knight in shining armor. Once you’re forgiven you can believe that God will bring you the valiant, amazing leader, handsome, wise, treats you like a queen, knight and shining armor, the man of God you’ve dreamed about. It’s not a pipe dream. God’s no respecter of persons, He doesn’t show partiality just as it says in Ephesians 6:9 “If He can do it for me, He can do it for you.” We’re still on our honeymoon. Some people say, “Once you’re married, if you can make it through the first year or through the first five years, maybe you’ll make it. But, if you’re a believer of Jesus, every year should get better and every year has gotten better. We keep learning and growing in the Lord. We’ve become better parents, our finances have increased, and God keeps making it better. To someone with past regrets, don’t set your sights any lower than what God has designed for you because it’s someone awesome and amazing.


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Beyond Freedom

Interview with Sex Trafficking Survivor, Jennelle Gordon. She is the founder of Beyond Freedom.

Jennelle Gordon is an inspiration for women as a leader, speaker, and educator. She studied tantra and yoga extensively with masters in Thailand after leaving her traumatic past behind for a brighter future. Having been the product of rape and then the system, her fate would have been sealed by statistics to either death or a life of addiction. But rather than sit in the passenger seat of her own life and live in compliance with societal programming, she took the wheel and created her own destiny.

Born from violence to a troubled single mother in Pittsburgh, she quickly became a ward of the state and placed in a foster home of religious extremists. Her new family brought her on a missionary trip to Thailand where she was kept from receiving a proper education or medical treatment for her most critical formative years. They continued neglecting her health long after their return to America, and as she grew they would also keep her in isolation and secluded from the outside world in an effort to control her body and mind. However, her strength of self overcame their attempts at brainwashing and she left home on her eighteenth birthday. Unsure of her options without a formal education or any work experience, she enrolled in the army in hopes of building a better life for herself. Unfortunately, they didn’t do their due diligence and sent her to training without a medical examination. Had they done so, they would have discovered she was medically unfit due to years of neglect and she wouldn’t have suffered so needlessly by the physical stress of boot camp. As a result of their error, she was hospitalized whereby she accumulated medical debt she couldn’t pay and would become increasingly desperate for stability and security. This newfound vulnerability attracted predators who would sexually exploit her over the course of a decade through coercion and manipulation. She fell into the same cycle of victimization from her childhood and finally broke free when she faked her death in order to escape certain death. It was then that she would return to Thailand and study tantra; fully liberating her body, mind, and spirit.

Through her spiritual studies and yogic practices, she healed herself holistically from unresolved trauma and developed Dance Om; an integrative form of dance therapy designed to relinquish women from societal constraints on their sexuality and sense of self. Soon after completion of her spiritual training, she became pregnant with her son and returned to America. After giving birth to Amadi, she moved to California to teach yoga, but still couldn’t make ends meet. Living with her infant in a friend’s garage for some time, she decided on being a better provider and signed up for classes at Orange Coast College. There she was given an assignment to write a speech on any topic of her choosing, little did she know the research she would conduct for this assignment would completely change her life and the lives of countless other women. The topic she chose was human trafficking and upon reading the definition given by the United Nations, she realized that she was being trafficked for years unknowingly in plain sight.

One horrific realization led to a movement that started as a school club and grew into a nonprofit organization known as Beyond Freedom. It was only after she went to several organizations that were supposedly dedicated to helping survivors that she realized none of them provided what she felt survivors truly need. Her mission from then on became helping survivors heal from their trauma holistically and psychologically, as well as rebuild their lives by offering sanctuary, education, and career paths. She saw a pattern of victimization in survivors that stemmed from a slave mentality forced on them by their traffickers, and how they kept falling into the same cycle after breaking free. Her organization is the only survivor run operation dedicated to helping women liberate themselves spiritually and mentally so that they may sustain their freedom.

Her online momentum through social media caught the attention of world-renowned practical psychologist and motivational speaker, Tony Robbins. She was then flown to a retreat where they met and discussed how he could help her organization. This surge of support coupled with her overall experience at the retreat, inspired her creation of a holistic system of spiritual and sensual empowerment whereby she merges all her passions and teachings into one powerful modality known as the “O” Factors.

Jennelle’s quest for freedom has paved a path towards enlightenment that others can follow. She is a voice for the vulnerable and exploited and is unashamed of her identity. Her fearless commitment and determination in empowering women and educating the public about the truth of human trafficking in America today have been met with criticism and praise due to her boldness. While others who’ve experienced that same trauma would use it as an excuse for their failures, she transformed that thinking into fuel for success. Now, her life is dedicated to teaching people how they can tend the flame of divinity that shines within all of us.

Connect with Jennelle through FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.

To learn more about her organization, ways that you can get involved, and about her yet to be released book,  go to Beyond Freedom.

 

 

Beyond Freedom’s “Seven F’s to Thriving”:

Faith: With this survivors are encouraged to choose their faith. Through faith, survivors work through having their faith in humanity restored.

Fitness: Bodybuilding and weight lifting is a modality mechanism to help the survivors heal, including yoga dance movement therapy. The various forms of fitness are a huge aspect of healing for survivors.

Family: A lot of survivors do not have family or they do, but they’ve been estranged from them. Survivors are shown how to create a new family within their community. Whether that is through Church, Fitness Centers, or within other community groups.

Finances: When survivors come out of being trafficked, a lot of them may not even know how to open a bank account. Along with the help of many CPAs, survivors get help with taxes and even setting up life insurance policies to plan for their future.

Femininity: Healthy empowered connected sensuality is imperative to re-programming survivors from the impact that sex trafficking had on their bodies. These survivors have survived unspeakable crimes and that trauma has to be addressed. There are a lot of organizations that do not address the sexuality part and yet it’s a big part of their healing.

Freedom: Survivors are given back their power through higher education for going into a trade or from starting their own business. The survivors are paired with donors and individuals that work closely with Beyond Freedom to give them jobs, training, or internships. Providing them with opportunities for careers they can work from the comfort of their own home.

Fun: Healing through fun activities while cultivating a community of support.

 

 

 

 

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Faith In The EndZone

 

Photo Credit: NFL

Scott Hanson serves as host of NFL RedZone, as well as co-host of NFL Network’s NFL Total Access along with Lindsay Rhodes. In addition to his responsibilities for NFL RedZone and NFL Total Access, Hanson also serves as a host for NFL Network’s on-location coverage of such events as Super Bowl, NFL Scouting Combine, NFL Draft, free agency and more.

Hanson joined NFL Media in 2006 as a national reporter covering all 32 teams. He transitioned into studio hosting in 2008, and was named the host of NFL RedZone during its inaugural season in 2009.

Produced by NFL Network, NFL RedZone whips around every NFL game on Sunday afternoons delivering the touchdowns and most exciting moments live and in high definition. NFL RedZone and Hanson are widely praised by the fans and media.

Hanson graduated Cum Laude from the prestigious Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University while playing football for the Orangemen. Hanson and his teammates were a combined 20-4 during his Junior & Senior years.

His other broadcasting stops included Comcast SportsNet in Philadelphia, Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic, WFTS-TV (ABC) in Tampa, WICS-TV (NBC) in Springfield, Illinois and WPBN-TV (NBC) in Traverse City, Michigan.

Outside of his broadcast career, Hanson is passionate about world travel, adventure and serving those in need.

He has run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain… Climbed Mt Kilimanjaro in Africa… Hiked the Great Wall of China… Gone great white shark cage diving in Australia and Mexico… and visited 6 of the 7 continents (with only Antarctica remaining).

He considers these adventures perfect “training” for the heart-pumping action of an NFL RedZone Sunday afternoon!

His involvement with various, worldwide Christian charities has seen him serve the needy in Africa, India, Russia, the Amazon jungle, Haiti, the Philippines, Mexico and domestic locations in the USA.

You can keep up to date with his travel and sports, play by plays by going to NFL Redzone and following him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.  

 

Photo Credit: NFL

How did you come to faith and what is your testimony?
I was raised in a religious home. We were at church every Sunday and was raised that faith was important. But it wasn’t a personal relationship. It was more religion and what my parents did. When I went to college, I wanted to live the college life and turned away from the faith when it became my own decision. Whether that was with worship, what I was going to think, or how I was going to live my life. So, I kind of turned away from everything. I thought God wasn’t real, I thought the Bible was fake. I pretty much was living in the world and wanted to do my own thing. I went into my television career and TV was everything to me. You could say TV was my God. TV was going to give me what I thought was going to be my joy, fulfillment, happiness, and purpose in life. But living that way, my life spiraled down and led to the lowest point in my life, when I was about two years out of college. Which was from a breakup over a relationship. I had been seeing a girl, we had gotten serious, and broke up. It was a bad break up and nothing made sense in my life. I came across a movie called the King of Kings. It’s one of the Hollywood accounts of the life of Jesus, from the 1960s. I rented this movie and watched it, though I had no reason to rent this movie. I just knew from my childhood upbringing that this Jesus guy preaches about love, peace, forgiveness, and how he came to change people’s lives. Yet, all of that is missing in my life at this miserable circumstance that I was in. I watched this movie and when the actor portraying Jesus came to the Sermon on the Mount, the words spoke right into my heart. They just made sense to me, became alive to me, and I was like wow, I’ve never looked at this Jesus guy this way before. Keep in mind I’m not a believer at this time, I’m not someone who would profess faith. But these words seemed to make sense, there seemed to be truth to this. So, I started reading the Bible and I began to think He’s real. I ultimately said, ” Ok God, if you can take a life the way these people say, the way this book says, the way Jesus said and change it, redeem it, then here’s mine! I prayed a simple prayer and asked God to come into my life, asked Jesus to be number one in my life, and my life has never been the same! My attitude towards my own life changed, my attitudes about God, and the truth of His Word changed. My life has been on a different trajectory ever since. It has been the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me.

Photo Credit: NFL

What is your favorite scripture verse and why?
Well, it’s all highlights but I think it would be one that your readers are familiar with and that’s Proverbs 3:5,6. Which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” To me that means a lot of things, to trust in the Lord with all your heart, means He is real, and He is worthy of 100% of our attention, devotion, and obedience. Then it says, “lean not on your own understanding.” That was something I had to come to terms with when I came to faith. I’ve been gifted with many blessings, but, I’m stubborn and pig-headed a lot of times and can easily go my own way. Then it says, “in all your ways acknowledge Him,” meaning acknowledge Him, live your life as if He is real as if His word is real. Acknowledge Him privately, acknowledge Him publicly, and He will make your paths straight. He will show you the direction and ways that otherwise I don’t believe would be available to us. I don’t mean riches, prosperity, or anything else like that. I mean peace, fulfillment, and a purpose in life that we didn’t have before. So, that’s my favorite verse.

Photo Credit: NFL

Can you share your experience on your mission trip last summer?
I served with two different ministries, Kenya Children’s Fund and Orphan Outreach. We visited four different schools where I spoke to hundreds of students. The students are all African kids born and raised in Nairobi and the surrounding areas. They love it when a mzungu comes to visit because I look much different from them. Mzungu is the Swahili word for white man, it’s not a prejudicial term but a descriptive term. The fact that I got a chance to tell these kids that I came thousands of miles, not because I would profit from it but because God loves me, I love Him, and He loves these kids. I wanted to share that with them, and you could see that with certain kids it would just click, it meant something special. There were other kids who I’m sure were children of faith who probably thought, “Wow the same God that I worship, the same God that loves me, and that I love. This guy, that came all the way from Los Angeles, CA, loves that same God too.” That shared faith connected us. Now, in terms of a long-term impact, I did some work while I was there and ultimately made a financial contribution that I think will last longer than what was my simple time there.

Phot Credit: NFL

What are some of the things you take on your mission trip for the children?
What I try to do when I travel internationally and go on a mission trip is to bring an entire suitcase full of toys for the kids as well as leave the suitcase behind. I see hundreds of kids throughout my trip and pack small little items where I can give something to everyone. Some of the things I take are balloons, superballs, glow rings, and snap bracelets. In terms of what kids get at school, their provided with food which is one of their foremost needs. The only food they have access to is food that has been disposed of by Nairobi citizens that they get from a garbage dump. In the morning, at school, they get a kind of oatmeal type substance that can be put in a coffee cup and they drink it. It’s a food that can be mass-produced very easily by the school and they have a big supply of it that they cook every morning. They also get a uniform which the kids are very proud of. If you go on my social media accounts, you’ll see pictures of the kids. They love coming to school where they can see their friends, be safe, have shelter, and get a meal. In terms of material possessions like blankets and stuffed animals, I don’t know what type of material possessions they have. I’d be surprised if it is very much. I only went into a couple of homes and those I saw have very little, what they have is very basic. They don’t have electricity and most of them don’t have running water.

Photo Credit: NFL

How does your faith impact your life, both professionally and personally?
One of my favorite authors is CS Lewis and he wrote this, “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it but because by it, I see everything else.” That quote encapsulates how I look at my faith. God is not only someone that I look to and turn to, but, by Him and through Him, I experience everything else in the world. My life makes so much more sense when I have my eyes focused on God. So yes, it informs every area of my life, including my television sportscasting which is a very secular career. I believe in being excellent at what I do and being a Christian who talks openly about his faith. A lot of people think Christians are crazy, that their bible thumpers, that they’re this or that and other notions. I think if you do a job in the world and work with people who are at any level or anywhere on the faith spectrum. Yet, you are excellent at what you do, that might give you some credibility. Others may look to your example and say if he or she is a Christian maybe it’s something I should check out, maybe there’s something more to that Christian faith. Because, you may be someone they look up to, admire, work well with, or someone they respect. So, my Christian faith impacts every area of my life.

Photo Credit: NFL

Can faith and football, sports in general co-exist? If so, how?
I think faith and football can and do co-exist. Football is about challenges, about winning and losing. It’s about battles that are inside of a game with rules and context. A life of faith is a life where you have challenges, hurdles, questions, doubts, and moments of joy and moments of awe. I think that a life of faith gives context, perspective, and a foundation for any walk of life. Whether it’s a football player, sportscaster, doctor, lawyer, teacher, mom, whatever you do. A life of faith can be and is beneficial to understanding everything else that is going on in the world. It helps you to deal with the ups and downs and put them in perspective.

 

Photo Credit: NFL

Can you tell me about the Discipleship Playbook?
This was something a couple of years ago, that I was approached about by Paul David Tripp, who is a Pastor, Author, and Speaker. He is friends with many of the Philadelphia Eagles players and has become a spiritual leader to some of them. He approached them wanting to start a men’s outreach seeing a great need for the church within sports, especially with male athletes. An outreach that would talk about faith, football, and what it means to be a man in today’s society. So, when setting this up with the Philadelphia Eagles, they expressed interest but wanted to wait until after the season, which was in the summer before 3 football seasons ago. That season they went on to win the super bowl. So, there was a lot of interest in people wanting to be in, around, and involved with the Philadelphia Eagles. Tripp gets a call from the Eagles to proceed forward and I get a call from Tripp. He said, “Hey Scott, we know that you’re a sportscaster and you’re a believer. We’ve seen your posts on social media, would you come on board and MC the event?” So, I came in and kind of helped direct traffic as speakers like Nick Foles, Carson Wentz, and some of these big-time football players spoke about a life of faith within the context of a football career. It was an awesome experience and the Discipleship Playbook is now available online to churches and individuals all around the world.

Photo Credit: NFL

In the next 5-10 years, what do you hope to accomplish for God’s Kingdom? What impact do you hope to have?
To be honest, I don’t know if the timeframe really matters to me as much. I would say my same goal ten years from now is the same as one week from now or one month from now. Which, is to be obedient, living a life of faith that I know God would have me live, and be the man God wants me to be. However, that impacts His kingdom or how He uses me to bring glory to His Kingdom is ultimately His work. I just hope to be as Abraham Lincoln was when he responded to one of his advisors on God’s involvement during the Civil War, when said, “Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God’s side, for God is always right.”

Photo Credit: NFL

What do you want your legacy to be?
This might sound kind of churchy but the moment of my last breath on earth and my first breath in eternity, I hope to hear, “Well done good and faithful servant.” If I can yield my life to God’s plan and His purpose and if He chooses to use that to impact other people. Then, my life would have been a success whether it ends when I’m one-hundred or whether it ends in a week. I don’t think it’s the years that matter as much as the impact!

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Preparing Your Heart For God’s Best

This is the much anticipated Part two of the Valentine’s post. Click on the link to read Part one, Galentine’s Day Heart to Heart. For all the Gals and Guys out there, I hope these posts will be encouraging and inspiring to all of you currently in the season of singleness or whom Valentine’s Day may have been hard for. I know that Holiday’s like that can be a difficult reminder of one’s single status and can cause one to have feelings of loneliness. I understand, especially with 2018 being a year of heartache for me. I spent this Valentine’s Day single, but I was not lonely! In fact I was filled with joy! Which I will share with you in another upcoming post…so stay tuned for that!

For now, I want to introduce you to these three men of God who have encouraged me with their faith and love for their wives, families, and especially their daughters. Between the three of them, they are raising more than half a dozen Girls of Grace/Women of Faith. Which is amazing! Check out below the interview, bios, and their pictures with their beautiful Proverbs 31 wives.

 


Ronnie Olstad is Vice President for 98 Food Co., Husband to Jessica, and Father to three (Swayzie, Lewiston, and baby on the way). Ronnie, along with his family founded the Love for Lewiston Foundation in their son’s honour, to raise awareness in Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA). Their family was previously featured in another post, “Life After Loss“. To learn more about the incredible work the Foundation is doing,  please click on their Foundation’s link here:  loveforlewiston.ca .

Nathan Kinzinger is a well-respected entrepreneur and member of the Chicago business community. Nathan also serves his community through his involvement in leading fundraising initiatives for organizations as well as serving on the board of Pan-African Academy of Christian Surgeons (PAACS).  Nathan is the happy husband to Gina and together they’re raising four powerful kids and two crazy dogs!  You can connect with Nathan via Instagram or his Website.

 

Seborn Yancy is Husband to Meghan Joy, Father to six, an Educator, and  RE/MAX Realtor in Minnesota. He loves hard, plays hard, and works hard. His family and faith being his top priority. He is involved in numerous endeavors with his wife, including their YouTube channel, Living the Yancy Life. The Yancy family has been featured in two previous posts, “Hearts Full At CHRISTmas” and “How To Balance It All“. You can connect with Seborn via Facebook and Instagram.

 

What are character qualities men and women of faith should be looking for in a future mate?

Ronnie: Very, Very critical to have the same faith and beliefs. Life is going to throw devastation your way, and if you don’t have a strong foundation and the same perspective on how to handle challenges, it just makes it that much harder. They need to have a sense of loyalty and have loyalty as a part of their core values. You have to be on the same team. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you have to be loyal and have each others back. Argue and debate in private, but always be in each others corners. Look for a girl who values loyalty.

Before you marry someone, ensure they want to be apart of something bigger than themselves. Marriage and relationships is about sacrifice. If everyone involved in the relationship is being selfless, the love and giving comes back around. The wife has a responsibility to give her all to the husband and also to her kids. If she’s not okay with this, stay away. However, the man is just as responsible to reciprocate. If both of you understand this, this is how you will make it to your 50thwedding anniversary with a relationship that is so rich, nothing can break it apart. You will change the world if it isn’t just about you. Find a girl that doesn’t just make it about her.

Sense of humour. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laughing makes good times better and hard times easier. Also what’s the point of marrying someone that wont be around that long? Find a girl that eats right, exercises, works on her mental health, and spiritual health. Very important they don’t drink excessively, smoke, are obese, etc… otherwise you will not enjoy all the things life has to offer together. Pick a girl that inspires you. Personally I like farm girls, with blonde hair, and a nice tan ; )

Nathan: God made us in His image – and so in dating and marriage this can get tricky. A man can look like God to a woman and vice versa. But what my wife and I found to be fundamental to our ability to love each other – is to expect only God to be God. Over our 12 years of dating and married life, Queen G (that’s what I call her) has trained herself to go to God for her love, for her joy and for her peace. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t soak up my love of her, my friendship, and my affection for it. It just means she does not require me to walk perfectly in her presence for her to have a good day.

Seborn: Purpose before Type.. After only dating Meghan for 4 months, I knew she was the one because she fit my purpose in life. I wanted to be a good father, husband, friend, brother, man of God, etc. Meghan was a woman of God, joyful, encouraging, caring, patient, kind, etc.  She was a better person than I was and she stretched me and helped me become a better person. While a person’s type may be important when looking for a significant other, the most important aspect to finding the person you will do forever with, is finding someone that will best fit your purpose in life.

What are some misconceptions that women believe about men? What advice would you give your daughters about relationships? 

Ronnie:   Obviously all the points above. Ensure you find someone that puts God first and you second, kids third, and everything else fourth…Find someone you can have fun with, without doing anything. Ensure he understands you are not responsible for his happiness and vice versa. Know his opinion on kids and how you will grow your family together. If you are unable to have kids, are you both willing and open to adopt? Ensure he is okay with saving 10% and tithing 10%. The man’s responsibility is to manage the families finances. He needs to be okay with this. Doesn’t need to be an expert, but has to be willing to learn. Choose a man with a heart you love.

Nathan: For me, the freedom to love her and be an imperfect husband – has nourished me as a man and given me the freedom and confidence to love her well. That’s a big reason why she’s my Queen!”

Seborn: I’ve mostly heard that men don’t express their feelings. While there are guys that struggle with this area, it’s not the norm and shouldn’t be seen as such. I would stress to my daughters that communication is so important in a relationship. Having someone that is emotionally available to you is so important to sustaining a healthy and thriving relationship. Men have emotions and men can communicate their feelings as good as any woman, if they are willing.

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Galentine’s Day Heart to Heart

 

For Valentine’s Day, I’m posting a two-part post made up of female perspectives on finding love and what to look for in a future husband. While part two will consist of a few men  giving their perspective of what men of character and faith are looking for in a potential mate, as well as debunking some myths women believe about men and advice they’d give their own daughters. The men’s post will post on Monday, Feb 18, so stay tuned.

Now let me introduce you to these three amazing women who have inspired me. They are women of faith whom are not only beautiful on the outside but even more beautiful on the inside.

Jessica Janzen Olstad  is the founder of the Love for Lewiston Olstad Foundation, based out of Calgary, AB. The Foundation was established after Jessica suffered the loss of her infant son, Lewiston to Spinal Muscle Atrophy  – Type 1 (SMA). Jessica, with her husband, Ronnie, and their daughter, Swayzie have created their Foundation to carry on Lewiston’s legacy by raising awareness and working towards finding  a cure to fight SMA. Jessica was previously featured in another post, “Life After Loss“. To learn more about the incredible work the Foundation is doing,  please click on their Foundation’s link here:  loveforlewiston.ca .

Olivia Louise Stear is a wife, mother, and Catholic missionary. Currently living in Southern California with her husband and four children.  Her and her family’s mission is to share life with the ones they love and invite them on a journey toward heaven. Life is full of twists and turns. If you want to see more of what life looks like making disciples in a Catholic Parish with a missionary mom, you can connect with her at oliviastear.com.

Meghan Joy Yancy lives in Brooklyn Park, Minnesota with her husband and their 6 kids. Meghan Joy homeschools their children while running a few businesses from home and keeping up with her Blog. They love family dinners, lazy Sundays after church, and random dance parties. She is passionate  about healthy living, essential oils, family, homeschooling, and her faith. She has been featured in two previous posts, “Hearts Full At CHRISTmas” and “How To Balance It All“. You can connect with Meghan Joy via her social media accounts either through her Website, Instagram, and Blog.

 

How did you know your husband was the right one?

Jessica: My heart just knew. There was a nudge from God saying this is your guy. I just knew I couldn’t give up on him. I had never met anyone like him – who had as big a heart as he did, loved Jesus like he did, and truly cared for me. There was a peace that I had with him that I had never had with any other relationship.

Olivia Louise:  In one of my earliest conversations with my husband, God said to my heart, this is your husband.  It was so strange but over the course of the next 6 months the biggest indicator that this was true was the initiative my husband took to court me.

Meghan Joy: I didn’t. I mean, at the time I thought I did. I was 21 years old and it just felt right with him. (But… feelings.) And then, the first 3 years of our marriage were HARD and I honestly just wanted to give up. But he didn’t. And God is greater. And here we are, 10 years in with 6 kids and now I know he is the right one. And I also know that we wake up every day and chose eachother. Choose to love one another and put eachother first.

What are some character qualities your husband has that other women should look for in the right guy, a potential mate?

Jessica: He is driven, kind, and focuses on growth and one of his key values is family. Look to see where they spend their time, their money – what is important to them. It truly tells a lot about a person.

Olivia Louise: He was marriage minded and didn’t waste time.  He was from a loving family and prayed daily.

Meghan Joy: He is a provider at heart. He yearns to work hard, constantly better himself and provide for his family. He spends time with God and leaves his Bible all over the house because he wants the kids to see as an example of time spent with God. He is willing to be goofy with me. He loves making me laugh. He is a really hard worker. Isn’t afraid to get a little sweaty and dirty. He is super honest with me and that may have been harder to swallow at first but through the years, I have come to really appreciate his honesty. I know that if I come to him, I will get the real deal.

During the waiting period of singleness for women, what’s the most important thing you’d like women to remember or focus on?

Jessica: I was single for over 5 and half years with only a handful of dates. It was down right depressing at times and totally took a hit on my confidence. I questioned what was wrong with me. Nothing was wrong with me God was just preparing me to be the best I could for the most important relationship. Use that time wisely and trust that the right partner will come along. Enjoy your singleness and freedom – marriage is a game changer in the best way possible but appreciate what you have now. Focus on your personal growth, be open to dates and that meeting your spouse might not look the way you dreamt it and also be open to heart ache – it is how you find the one. My 5 year single streak was worth every moment. I could not ask for a better partner.

Olivia Louise: In the waiting I focused on inviting Jesus into my longing heart.  Any desire I had for marriage was always directed at Jesus and he fulfilled my heart.  I surrounded myself with friends, work and service so I kept a very full schedule.  I focused on God’s calling for me instead of who I was going to date.  I actually stopped dating and it gave me time to rest and heal from the hook up culture.  After six years of prayer and rest I met my husband.

Meghan Joy: Surrender. I think so often we try to control our situations into what we want it to look like and God might have a completely different path for us. And also in that surrender, putting yourself out there for new possibilities and adventures. Being open to that different path, and what it may look like. When I first met my husband, I wasn’t very interested in him. After a few “dates,” I was like, “nah…. I’m good.” But he continued to pursue me and in round 2, I fell in love and am now happily married to quite the incredible man. I could have checked him off and missed out on this beautiful journey with him. You never know what God has in store.

 

 

 

 

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But I Love Him

Michelle Jewsbury is an author, actress, speaker, and humanitarian.  She is passionate about using her natural talents to make the world a better place by combating domestic violence worldwide. May 2014, she took her first humanitarian trip to Guatemala and has been to many countries since, helping underprivileged youth and women.  In 2015, she embarked in a career as Vice President for Young Vision Africa (YVA), a non-profit organization doing humanitarian work in Sierra Leone.  She stayed with YVA until August 2016 when she decided to leave the organization to focus her efforts on ending domestic violence.

July 2017, Michelle founded Unsilenced Voices, a nonprofit focused on inspiring change in communities around the world by encouraging victims to break free and survivors to speak up about domestic violence and sexual assault.  The organization is developing shelters for women and children internationally and has created sensitization programs to educate communities around the globe.

In the entertainment industry, she has worked in casting, as an agent, producer, and actress in television, film, and on the stage.  She is known for her acclaimed one-person play But I Love Him, loosely based on her past experience in an abusive relationship.  Her memoir was recently published of the same title. You can check out her website for updates on her book launch party and purchase details.

She has also had numerous appearances on talk shows and stages throughout the world. Michelle’s hope is that through her bravery and boldness she will inspire others to take charge and participate in ending domestic violence and sexual assault. Through her book, she hopes to tell the truth of what happened to her and show others it’s ok for them to tell their truth.  Readers will recognize themselves throughout the pages of her book, which is why it’s essential and needs to be out there.

To learn more about the work her organization is doing or to connect with Michelle you can visit the following social media accounts: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.

1) Tell me about your story and what brought you to start your organization, Unsilenced Voices?

From a young age I had dreams of myself surrounded by African children though I never knew the meaning of the dreams. Years later in 2012 was when I found myself in an abusive relationship, it was during that time that I expressed wanting to help people. Around that time was when I began my humanitarian trips to Guatemala and Kenya, Africa. Upon leaving my abusive relationship I had become vice president of a non-profit organization called Young Vision Africa (YVA), their mission work was based in Sierra Leone, where I spoke with groups of women and shared my story for the first time of what I had gone through and about the domestic and sexual violence that takes place within their community.

After returning from my trip, I started working for another organization while volunteering at a women’s shelter on skid row. It was during a trip to San Francisco to interview for the organization Art and Abolition, that I felt God’s presence and received a sign from Him by ways of a complete stranger who I shared my story with and he told me to start my own organization. That was not the first time I’d heard that, but this time I was listening. With previously establishing roots in Sierra Leone, I was drawn back there. God also opened the door for me to also spend time in Ghana as I had met a Ghanaian man in LA by the name of Dr. Bennett whose family lives in Ghana. He told me I could stay at his family home which opened the door for me to do work there as well.

2) What difference are you making in Ghana and Sierra Leone?

Within the community we hold open forum sensitization meetings, where we invite both male and female community members to attend. During the meetings we teach them what is legally and morally wrong with domestic and sexual violence. What’s surprised me with these communities was the taboo aspect where women are in a position to have to appease their husbands and be submissive to them in all ways. These women are often raped, and the husbands strongly encouraged to marry numerous times if their first wife does not sexually satisfy them. These women often lack a voice. So, encouraging them that they don’t have to take this treatment and stay in this marriage, gives these women their voice back.  By sharing my own story of staying with an abuser who beat and raped me, it helped them to look at spousal rape as the violent act it is, no longer the norm that they have grown up being exposed to and witnessing. In fact, they didn’t even realize what they were doing was wrong, because it’s all they’ve ever know.

In these cultures, often, times rape is used to weaken the women, it’s a taboo subject that is rarely if ever broached. So, these meetings are not only eye opening but also a learning lesson for them. We usually have anywhere from between 35-125 community members attending these educational meetings. In Sierra Leone we’ve also partnered with a vocational training center where to date, we’ve helped four young girls who worked as sex workers also known as prostitution. These four girls are no longer on the street and are now going through the vocational training center to learn a skill, like creating the beautiful skirts we buy from them and sell on our website.  The reason most women become sex workers is because they are starving. Even children as young as six and seven years old are selling themselves for as little as fifty cents for a bag of rice.

3) How at such a young age do these children even know what they are selling themselves for?

In America a lot of us get to grow up as children. Yet if you grew up in the foster care system or the slums of America or had a harder life, you understand at a very young age how you have to take care of yourself. So, in the US you see children joining gangs because there is a need within their home within their selves and they know that the gang is going to support them. Overseas when parents are starving, a family member is dying from AIDS, grandparents can’t see or walk these children sell themselves on the street to help their family.

4) Are there future plans to expand the products these girls can create and make something like jewelry?
Yes, of course. Every non-profit organization has a shop section.  Some organizations may outsource the products they sell in their shops. Unsilenced Voices not only does the work but is now also in the fashion industry, though we really want to be known as an industry that helps people.


5) A hot topic within society has been submission within marriage. There seems to be a lot of opinions and misunderstandings as to what the biblical definition is and different cultural interpretations. With being a woman of faith can you explain the biblical truth behind submitting to your husband and why it’s important?          
In the Bible it says in Ephesians 5:22-24, “That women must submit to their husbands and that husbands need to love their wives as Jesus loved the church”.  Unfortunately, that last verse is usually negated and ignored, which has hurt the church and is the problem. That’s where people get confused. The verse asking men to love their wives like Christ loves the church is about love and respect. The church was the most important thing to Jesus and that’s how women are to be to their husbands – the most important thing. The husband is to protect his wife and not hurt her. Men and women are to co-exist and help each other, being the other’s helpmate. A relationship of mutual respect and submission. Husbands are to submit to their wives as well. Men will still be leaders of the household. The Biblical meaning of submission does not take anything away from a man still being able to be a man.

Though submission is not entirely the problem, people these days are stuck in the old ways and old mindset of how things should still be the way, they were decades ago. Yet we’re supposed to be advanced as a nation, but places like Sierra Leone are 100-150 years still behind the United States.  The culture and mindset are as backwards as in the 1900’s. We really need to take a stand. To me, what’s upsetting is when women lie about what happened to them. It takes away from the horrible epidemic that real survivors and victims have been through, lessening the severity of the violence they endured.
 
6) What strides are you making within the domestic violence movement.
Before the Me Too movement and politics got involved, I went through the process of pressing charges against my abuser. What Me Too has done for us and this movement is bringing more awareness to this. What we are doing as an organization is riding that wave, speaking up, and encouraging other women to speak up. We are going to be having a Speak Up campaign, asking women survivors nationwide to tell their story and send it into us for the campaign. Their stories will bring more awareness to this mainstream topic that Me Too has shined a light on and made more prevalent.

7) Was reporting your abuser an easy or hard decision?

 Very difficult! Even after I left that relationship, we were still in communication and during that time he was still emotionally and financially abusing me. That is when I started to document what had happened to me. After documenting everything, that is when I realized how bad my situation was. I used to sit in the back of church, crying because I didn’t want him to do this again to someone else. I wanted to do something, but I also didn’t want to hurt him. I had a very difficult time processing what it was I was supposed to do. I wanted to press charges, but I heard God tell me no, so I listened. At the end of 2015 I received a Facebook message from his current girlfriend whose head he had put through a glass wall, she was pressing criminal charges. At that point I felt more secure moving forward with the process of pressing charges. Though my statute of limitations ran out criminally, I was able to sue him civilly. That statute is something that we need to change because most women are not able to speak up or even process what has happened until years later after that short two-year statute of limitations run outs.

8) Society often looks at the victim reporting a crime, as a crime in and of itself. Often blaming and shaming the victim. Would you explain the importance of justice from an accoutability stand point, but also criminally why justice is so important?

This is a hard question. With my abuser it’s hard for me knowing that my testimony could have huge implications on the trajectory of his life and his livelihood. I do believe you need to forgive. Forgiveness is key to healing for yourself. The thing that I struggle with and what I talk with my therapist about is, at what point does your abuser need to have justice served? Your abuser should be accountable for what he did to you. It is not right what happened, it is wrong, it is evil, it is unhealthy, and potentially deadly. I believe moving forward and pressing charges brings accountability on your abuser. So, the most important thing is to make sure your abuser takes responsibility for his actions. My abuser went through therapy and said he was changing, and I believed him. We went almost a year without him assaulting me physically though he would still abuse me in other ways. When he did assault me again, at that point I knew it wasn’t ever going to change. Moving forward with the process is difficult. I recently sat across from him at the deposition. I was torn as I felt sympathy for him, but I also never want anyone to experience what I’ve gone through. If he gets sentenced and spends time in prison. I know what happens to men who beat on women. I know what happens to them and I don’t want that to happen to him, but it’s also not up to me. I’m just moving forward in the legal process and making sure he takes responsibility for his actions and that there is some type of consequence and repercussion. 

9) So, seeking justice doesn’t mean there isn’t forgiveness and forgiveness doesn’t mean that there can’t be justice, is that correct?
 Yes, that’s correct.

10) Would you further detail why  it’s not easy to leave your abuser? 

You really liked the person you’re with. He puts your head through a wall, spits on you, rapes you, then he looks at you, and tells you how sorry he is while he cries. There is a cycle, a pattern that begins to happen. It start’s from walking on egg shells to him blowing up either emotionally, mentally, physically, or sexually. After that is the apology stage, which is the reason why most victims stay in the relationship. He will vow he loves you and that he’s sorry and that he will never do it again. Because of your feelings toward him and the connection you share with him, you’ll believe him. You truly believe that he will become the man you always dreamed he could be or who he tells you he is. You believe his apologies and you believe that he won’t hurt you again. So, you believe his lies. Though in most cases he will do it again.

**Click on the links for resources on red flags and the pattern of abuse chart  that Michelle references when speaking. 

 

11) Take us through the process of pressing charges. 

At the end of 2015, I sought the help of an attorney. I thought the process would be quick but am still going through it three years later. This is not a short process, it’s very emotional and painful. I’ve had to retell my story many times during police interviews and court interrogations. I’ve had to remember dates, times, and even what I was wearing. You need to make sure you have everything documented and that you remember things correctly. It is a long process and a lot of times victims are not ready or even capable to go through the process. 

12) Where are you at in the process for your case?

We’re at the end. The whole process has taken about three years. Total in is eight years, because of four years in the relationship, about a year of doing nothing, and three years for the legal process. 

13)  Do you think there are any safety measures that could prevent domestic violence from ever happening? 

So, you could drive the speed limit, not text while driving, and pay attention while you drive. But that does not 100% guarantee you will not get into an accident. So, my perspective is you need to take care of yourself, take precautions, and look for red flags. If domestic violence is happening in your home, you need to find a safe way to get out. I don’t agree that staying in an abusive relationship is good for you or your children. However, I do understand how difficult it is to leave and why victims don’t. There are red flags to look for before you commit to a husband or an relationship. There are ways to prevent being assaulted, you can carry pepper spray, not walk to your car late at night by yourself, and if you meet a man who is too controlling, don’t stay with him.

 
14) Explain what is the aftermath of trauma.

I still have nightmares. After my abuser and I stopped communication I used to think that there would be someone waiting to shoot me as I walked out of the elevator in my building. My abuser has a lot of power and a lot of money. So, I definitely thought it was a possibility. Now I understand that I’m still going to have nightmares and be scared when I walk the streets alone. Even be nervous when there is a male passenger in my car because my abuser would scream profanities at me and be very critical of what I was doing wrong when driving. Eventually I wouldn’t drive with him in the car, he’d drive instead. I still get apprehensive regarding the situation but there is hope and healing. The nightmares aren’t as frequent. I’m able to move forward and have healthier relationships. Also, I’ve found that the more you speak the better it makes you feel, so be open and don’t hide things. It’s not your fault. It’s good to speak up because 1 in 4 women in the United States will experience this. 

15) What advice would you give to  someone whose abuser is in a position of power?
 Get out as soon as you can. Don’t stay just because he has power.  I had read a book that talked about elite women staying in relationships, because they don’t want people to think they don’t have it all together.  Regardless get out, you need to get out. You need to stand up for your rights and it can be difficult because you may love your husband who is a huge political figure or celebrity or has tons of power. If you stay they will think you’re condoning that kind of relationship even though you’re not and it will just continue. If you want to press charges against your abuser, know what you’re up against. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row. If you don’t have enough evidence do yourself a favor and just get out.

16) Has your story been well received within the church community.
Mine has but I know people whose stories have not been. A lot of people misuse the bible to justify their actions. But it’s very misconstrued. I’m very close to God, He is my best friend. I did not find him the conventional way. I abused drugs for many years and found him as I was lying on my back strung out from cocaine and talking to a ceiling fan. After that I started going to church and was baptized in 2011.
17) What has helped you the most in the healing process?
 I’m a huge advocate for writing therapy. If I hadn’t written my play I wouldn’t be able to openly discuss things that happened to me as much. I’m still a strong woman but rehearsing for that play brought a lot of healing. Write everything you’ve been through down on paper, just details and dates without an emotional attachment. Which can make it harder to go through when recounting the trauma. Also, being able to talk to a trusted therapist or counselor about what happened in a confidential and non-judgement environment. This is very important because often times girls will try to talk to their friends and those friends won’t understand or they’ll judge you.

18) Society’s perspective regarding therapy or counseling is that it’s for someone with issues or whose mentally sick. Do you agree?

Who doesn’t have issues. I think people who go to therapy do much better than those who don’t go to therapy. LA is pretty open and accepting where the south and other parts may be less open to talking about one’s feelings. I say screw it and talk about it anyways. If you’re worried about being judged, know that the person you’re speaking to is not the person who is going to judge you, God above is going to judge you. If you’re worried about getting judged for going to therapy, try to look at it from a different point of view. I’m going to therapy to deal with this, so I can have healthy relationships and move on with my life. Those people that come back and say you’re an idiot, or that you have issues do not need to be in your life. If those close to you think you’re crazy for going to therapy, just don’t talk to them about it. People can be very closed minded, especially in our country right now.

 19) Is it possible to thrive after trauma?                                                                  Oh yeah, 100%. So, I’ve decided that through my story, I’m going to help other people and just thrive in general.  I’ve written a book, I’ve started a successful non-profit, I have two jobs, I speak to other women who have experienced similar violence, and I coach women. I also have traveled all over the world. I’ve learned new things like scuba diving, which is now my favorite thing to do. I live in a lovely house with two great roommates. I laugh, I go out with my friends, and have cocktails. Yes, you can still thrive and there is hope.  This does not define you. Your experiences do not define you.

 

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The Blue Code of Silence Creates Systematic Injustice

(Here is the LINK   to my recent interview with Rehumanize Intl.)

 

If you have read my Bio, you know I’m a pioneer for the rights of women, children and even men when it comes to violence and injustice within our world and justice system, though not always so just!

What I often don’t speak on a lot or go into depth regarding is the fact that six years ago I had to flee in the middle of the night after I had been assaulted by my ex, a cop on June 5, 2013 and was thus subsequently targeted, retaliated against, threatened, and deemed an enemy of the police by the police all because I turned him in for domestic violence and abusing his power as a law enforcement agent.

The last six years of living in hiding have been difficult, isolating, terrifying – with lots of sleepless nights. My rights have been violated over and over again, and extra safety measures have needed to be taken to not only keep myself safe, but also my loved ones. It’s not the way to live, in fact I haven’t really been able to live and the things most people take for granted, I’ve not been able to experience because of living in hiding for my safety from a corrupt dangerous cop who continues to be protected by our government.

Can you even imagine what it’s like to go up against one of the biggest giants in our world, our government and know they see you as an enemy because you spoke up when one of their own assaulted you? Being told I was now an enemy of the police is a threat I expereinced and a reality I face every day.

In fact several weeks ago, a member of the DOJ sent a message to me through   a local official, that came after I tried to take steps to come out of hiding for my safety and to seek justice, which I have tirelessly been seeking for the last five years,but in vain. The DOJ official stated that if I try to seek justice or come out of hiding, my ex is going to come after me and come out swinging and what’s worse is my ex has the support of the DOJ. Once again my rights are violated! So my choices are either to remain silent and continue to live in hiding. Or fight to regain my rights, freedoms, my life back, and he will do me harm and possibly others. Yet those aren’t choices at all!

Do you know what it’s like to look fear dead in the eye?  Your life is on the line, but you keep moving forward, keep fighting for your rights, you get knocked down and find the strength to still be standing, but you do it because you don’t have any other choice.  I’m not going to lie, of all the things I’ve endured – this is probably the scariest! But this is my reality day in and day out. I am standing on the battlefield alone, facing the biggest giant of the free world -our entire governmental system and its agencies and officials.

If my ex comes after me, I can’t call the police because he is the police and “The Blue Code of Silence” will go into effect! I have no one to turn to, to keep me safe, all I have is my story, my voice, and my truth! Thats is my only weapon of self defense that I have and I’m using it.

Why am I speaking out? In hopes that one day I can fully break free from these chains that keep me held captive, so I don’t have to always look over my shoulder, so I can finally get a good nights rest without being haunted of nightmares that he’s found me, to spread awareness on this issue that often is ignored, to educate others who have become desensitized to this injustice, to let other victims & survivors know they are not alone, and to prove to myself that regardless of what we go through our hardships are not in vain and can make a difference!

Which is what I’m trying to do to facilitate worldly and judicial change by choosing to “Live Each Day With Purpose” and “Making a difference one day, one life at a time”. At the end of the day, my life is on the line and I am going to fight like hell to overcome this. To not just survive it, but overcome by thriving in the most direst  of circumstances. I want to be a example, a role model to so many out there who may be considering giving up or staying silent,  inspiring them to find the courage to come forward and tell their stories. But I can’t encourage or tell anyone to do that, unless I break my silence first!

To find out more about my interview with Rehumanize Intl. Please click on the bold link in parentheses up above. This aspect of my story is real, it’s raw, and it’s my current reality. I hope it promotes awareness regarding this police perpetrated injustice for much needed, life saving change!

 

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The Power Of Trust

 
www.wbtv.com
WBTV is the CBS TV station in Charlotte, North Carolina, with Charlotte news, Charlotte weather, sports, traffic, North Carolina and South Carolina news, Carolina Panthers, Charlotte Hornets, NASCAR

(Click on the “Motivational MVP: The Power of Trust”, link above. )

Last Friday, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Coach LaMonte on the Morning Break Show on WBTV, for the Motivational MVP segment. We focused on “The Power of Trust” and how trust is the foundation for every relationship!

I shared my personal stories of struggling with trusting others after my trust had been violated and betrayed, in some of the most unthinkable ways. I was able to shed light on how to overcome trust issues, while also expressing it’s a learning process that I’ve even had to work through recently with relationships. This interview was raw and real. I’m sharing from personal experiences and lessons learned in hopes that this message of “The Power of Trust” will help you to work towards having successful relationships going forward.

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